I woke up this morning so excited!
I have been blogging for roughly a week now, and the best blogging-related thing has happened to me! Aside from somehow managing to have 2 followers (yay!), I am being featured on someone elses blog!!!
This girl named Heather is a very dear friend of mine. She took me under her wing, when all I wanted to do was move out. She let me live with her, and together, we battled boys, bills, doctors, more boys, and Target! She is the person that I really started my adult life out with.
She taught me so many neat values, like:
-When decorating for Halloween, if you let Heather decorate it will be decorated in full force!
-Friends is an addiction, one most people cannot resist!
-It's really ok to be yourself, because true friends will not judge you.
-New things are scary, but REALLY rewarding if you do it right.
-Calendars are a MUST!
-Love is truly a battlefield, but if you have a cup of coffee, a journal, and a comfy bed...nothing can hurt you!
...My list could go on and on.
This amazing girl has featured me in her blog, http://thenheathersaid.blogspot.com and I think this may be one of the most thrilling days of my life. I know I must be a real nerd, because when I went over to her page and saw my writing I literally squeaked for joy!
(Yes, I squeak sometimes when my excited emotions get the better of me.)
Anyway, please read it! She is amazing. I love her dearly.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Operation Beautiful.
She talks all the time about this wonderful project called Operation Beautiful.
Operation Beautiful, in a very condensed version, is a book that will hopefully be coming out in the very near future, and it is a compilation book made up of post-it notes that promote any kind of self confidence or beauty.
I made my submission, and you should too. http://operationbeautiful.com/submissions
A Look Inside My ADD Brain.
(This post will cover about 15 different topics.)
Today is not a good day.
Today is sick. My stomach is sick. The weather here looks as if it has the flu. The atmosphere at my work is dreary and sickly. Everything seems to be sick today. Ergo my conclusion, it is not a good day.
And so the saying goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." And while that may be fine for the optimists of the world, today that is not me. Today, I think, should be a lemon day, but instead of lemonade, I would like to make a citrus martini. That is about all of the lemony goodness I can stand right now.
I have been having writer's block for the last 20 or so hours, and I am about to go crazy. There are so many things I want to write about, but for the sake of those who read, I dare not.
How are people supposed to go through life knowing exactly what they want the whole time? I have a friend that does, and it blows my mind. There are so many different possibilities out there, how can someone have one single goal and then full-speed ahead go after it? It really does not make any sense to me.
Now if you are one of those people I am very sorry if I have thrown you for a loop. I do not want to discourage you for pursuing that which I have not achieved yet, even though I would love to know what I really want, I am afraid I will never find it. I am so indecisive, it is kind of nerve-wracking. I always manage to hurt the ones around me, because of my incessant mind changing.
It is all I can do to sit here and blab on and on about what is not really real.
Sitting here typing, that's real.
Thinking, well that is questionable.
Making decisions, that requires thinking, so again...questionable.
But this. Here and now is real. Me sitting at my desk, wanting to get out of this job, this city, and this life. That is really real. I just wish I could make up my mind and pick a lane, choose a path, make a decision, even if it scares the shit out of me, and just freakin do it.
I wanna be like Nike.
That "Help" song by The Beatles is replaying itself in my head.
My dream, if I choose to accept it, is to move to a large town. New York perhaps. Become a writer, get a degree if I so wish, and live my life doing what I want to do. Should I choose to accept it, I must complete it before I fall in love again. Because if not, that will cause self destruction in T-Minus _____ days/months/years.
I have the ability to go "to infinity, and beyond."
But the question is, do I really want to?
The sad part is, only I know. And I don't know.
Today is not a good day.
Today is sick. My stomach is sick. The weather here looks as if it has the flu. The atmosphere at my work is dreary and sickly. Everything seems to be sick today. Ergo my conclusion, it is not a good day.
And so the saying goes, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade." And while that may be fine for the optimists of the world, today that is not me. Today, I think, should be a lemon day, but instead of lemonade, I would like to make a citrus martini. That is about all of the lemony goodness I can stand right now.
I have been having writer's block for the last 20 or so hours, and I am about to go crazy. There are so many things I want to write about, but for the sake of those who read, I dare not.
How are people supposed to go through life knowing exactly what they want the whole time? I have a friend that does, and it blows my mind. There are so many different possibilities out there, how can someone have one single goal and then full-speed ahead go after it? It really does not make any sense to me.
Now if you are one of those people I am very sorry if I have thrown you for a loop. I do not want to discourage you for pursuing that which I have not achieved yet, even though I would love to know what I really want, I am afraid I will never find it. I am so indecisive, it is kind of nerve-wracking. I always manage to hurt the ones around me, because of my incessant mind changing.
It is all I can do to sit here and blab on and on about what is not really real.
Sitting here typing, that's real.
Thinking, well that is questionable.
Making decisions, that requires thinking, so again...questionable.
But this. Here and now is real. Me sitting at my desk, wanting to get out of this job, this city, and this life. That is really real. I just wish I could make up my mind and pick a lane, choose a path, make a decision, even if it scares the shit out of me, and just freakin do it.
I wanna be like Nike.
That "Help" song by The Beatles is replaying itself in my head.
My dream, if I choose to accept it, is to move to a large town. New York perhaps. Become a writer, get a degree if I so wish, and live my life doing what I want to do. Should I choose to accept it, I must complete it before I fall in love again. Because if not, that will cause self destruction in T-Minus _____ days/months/years.
I have the ability to go "to infinity, and beyond."
But the question is, do I really want to?
The sad part is, only I know. And I don't know.
Monday, October 12, 2009
The Plot Thickens.
I spent the better part of the afternoon looking for a pen that was hooked on my shirt, and thinking...
I thought about everything, except my work, today. I think I am going to start my book soon. I am getting together some pretty neat plot ideas. At least I think so.
The one that sticks out the most, now don't laugh, is kinda corny:
A woman wants to write out her life's story, even though she is only in her thirties. So she hires a young writer to help her illustrate her life through words. The main character, "the woman", is from some high class town with lots of old money. The young writer someone who has put their college life on hold to travel and pursue his/her dreams. He just wants to freelance write.
The writer is hoping that writing this book will make him an accredited writer in his own light.
The woman wants only to be remembered and loved.
It could turn into a love story, but I don't know yet.
I thought about everything, except my work, today. I think I am going to start my book soon. I am getting together some pretty neat plot ideas. At least I think so.
The one that sticks out the most, now don't laugh, is kinda corny:
A woman wants to write out her life's story, even though she is only in her thirties. So she hires a young writer to help her illustrate her life through words. The main character, "the woman", is from some high class town with lots of old money. The young writer someone who has put their college life on hold to travel and pursue his/her dreams. He just wants to freelance write.
The writer is hoping that writing this book will make him an accredited writer in his own light.
The woman wants only to be remembered and loved.
It could turn into a love story, but I don't know yet.
Recapping The Weekend.
This weekend was almost indescribable.
My words will not quite do it justice, but I will try.
This weekend, I stood in attendance for one of my best friend's weddings. It was small, quaint, and very romantic. With a mere 30 people, maximum, we all watched as two people's lives change forever.
Later, I began our road trip, and while the majority of the details will not be expressed in words to protect certain parties, it was amazing. We drove for what seemed like an hour, but in reality was closer to four or five.
We talked and laughed, just relaxed. We ate some really interesting food, I learned a little Spanish. I rode in a questionable elevator. I also learned how to make fun of people only using the words "uh huh" and "cool". We listened to all kinds of music. And I do mean all kinds. He had me listening to The Steve Miller Band, Bob Marley, Kings of Leon, and George Strait, interspersed with some random 60's, 70's, and 80's tunes. The inventor of the iPod and iTunes should rest happy, one single radio station will never again suffice mankind.
We had a terrific time, and while neither of us wanted it to end, it had to. I pointed out before returning home that Monday (today) was Columbus Day, and we could just stay because we were probably off. Neither of us really were.
I am so glad I got this weekend for many reasons, but here is a blog related one.
I can scratch #11 off of my list.
My words will not quite do it justice, but I will try.
This weekend, I stood in attendance for one of my best friend's weddings. It was small, quaint, and very romantic. With a mere 30 people, maximum, we all watched as two people's lives change forever.
Later, I began our road trip, and while the majority of the details will not be expressed in words to protect certain parties, it was amazing. We drove for what seemed like an hour, but in reality was closer to four or five.
We talked and laughed, just relaxed. We ate some really interesting food, I learned a little Spanish. I rode in a questionable elevator. I also learned how to make fun of people only using the words "uh huh" and "cool". We listened to all kinds of music. And I do mean all kinds. He had me listening to The Steve Miller Band, Bob Marley, Kings of Leon, and George Strait, interspersed with some random 60's, 70's, and 80's tunes. The inventor of the iPod and iTunes should rest happy, one single radio station will never again suffice mankind.
We had a terrific time, and while neither of us wanted it to end, it had to. I pointed out before returning home that Monday (today) was Columbus Day, and we could just stay because we were probably off. Neither of us really were.
I am so glad I got this weekend for many reasons, but here is a blog related one.
I can scratch #11 off of my list.
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Summer, Please Read.
This is a morning, just like any other morning, but today is special.
Today one extra special thing is happening, and then a pretty fun thing is taking place after.
Extra Special Thing:
One of my dearest friends are getting married! (One of my two, or three, depending on how you look at it.)
She doesn't know it, but she is one of my role models. She is twenty years old. Named after a season, and blessed with the most beautiful, free-spirited personality. If life gives this girl lemons, she can make pizza...Yes, she is that good.
She has been through quite a bit of struggles in her life. "Trials and tribulations" would be an understatement. And now, even though she is the source of the predicament she is is (well, her and Mr. Fun) she is making the best of it.
My seasonal friend and I graduated, both with great big dreams, and almost no money. But somehow we both got together the funding and grades to get into one of our local colleges. She had bigger dreams though. She aimed for an out of town school, and while that seemed to be nearly unheard of in our circle of friends, she marched on. She saved the money, busted her ass, and got accepted. Found a great apartment with another friend of ours, and began what she thought was her life. Little did she know, fate had other plans. Two weeks into school, things changed. She was now responsible for her life, as well as Mr. Atticus'/Ms. Bella's. She moved back home, confronted her night of fun with a brave look in her eye and confidence only known to some 18th century soldiers.
She revamped her life here, with our small town, Mr. Fun, little Atticus or Bella, and has challenged it to see what else can be thrown at her that she cannot handle.
She is getting married today, and she deserves a lifetime of happiness. And even though her life has been turned upside down, this woman remains grounded. Standing firm in her faith, love, and holding on to the support that all of us give her.
She is amazing. I wish her all the best.
P.S.- That fun thing is my ROAD TRIP! Hooray for leaving this place and filing for a bit of liquid induced temporary insanity.
Friday, October 9, 2009
The Countdown Starts, Now.
I wake up this morning, and I almost made the mistake of thinking it was Saturday, but no. It is Friday.
7 am on a Friday morning and 8 more hours of work, plus 1 hour of getting ready and another 1 hour of lunch (boredom). In case you are slow on this Friday morning or may not work in this lovely corporate world, that is 10 more hours. TEN.
I get to work, and usually Friday's are laid back, but my boss has an appointment at 9 this morning with a client. So he is here, blaring his music and distracting me from my morning blog. How dare he. Just kidding, but seriously.
So I am still counting down from this 10 hour process, right now I am at 8 hours and 20 minutes. I can do it. I usually am not this antsy at work, or in the morning, but this weekend has potential, unlike many others I have had in the past.
Yesterday at work, someone, (and you will probably be able to guess who), decided it would be of the utmost intelligence and respect to drop six boxes off of my things next to my car.
Did he come in to my place of business to make me aware of the garage sale practically going on next to my SUV in our parking lot? No.
Instead, I am assuming (because the mid morning dew had set in) about an hour after having his unloading party, one of my morning clients walks in and asks "Um, do you have an ex boyfriend you pissed off?" And I laughed a little, and asked, "Why?". He replies, "Well someone dropped off some stuff outside next to your car."
I walk outside, to find just that. While I am trying to fit these boxes into my car, the one at the base of the pile is excruciatingly heavy. Just then, my boss pulls up. Early again, who knows why. He sees me, even though I am leaning into my car hoping that I will blend in. He comes over, I explain the situation. He has to help me lift the final box into my car.
That is how my yesterday started. I did not write about it yesterday for fear that I may not have been this nice about it.
After explaining this, is much less detail, to a very good friend of mine, I close my story with "I need to get out of here."
He replies, "Out of work, or out of town?"
I say, "Both."
He then progresses to plan a road trip, invites me, and we are going to get the hell outta dodge this weekend. Turning off phones (at least I am), no Facebook, nothing. I just want to get away.
My best friend, one of two, is getting married Saturday, and then "We are hauling ass and not looking back, until Monday."
That is why I continue to count down, 7 hours and 54 minutes, until the weekend.
That is when my fun, and release begins.
That is when I can let go and just be free from dumb things of drama.
7 hours and 52 minutes until then.
7 am on a Friday morning and 8 more hours of work, plus 1 hour of getting ready and another 1 hour of lunch (boredom). In case you are slow on this Friday morning or may not work in this lovely corporate world, that is 10 more hours. TEN.
I get to work, and usually Friday's are laid back, but my boss has an appointment at 9 this morning with a client. So he is here, blaring his music and distracting me from my morning blog. How dare he. Just kidding, but seriously.
So I am still counting down from this 10 hour process, right now I am at 8 hours and 20 minutes. I can do it. I usually am not this antsy at work, or in the morning, but this weekend has potential, unlike many others I have had in the past.
Yesterday at work, someone, (and you will probably be able to guess who), decided it would be of the utmost intelligence and respect to drop six boxes off of my things next to my car.
Did he come in to my place of business to make me aware of the garage sale practically going on next to my SUV in our parking lot? No.
Instead, I am assuming (because the mid morning dew had set in) about an hour after having his unloading party, one of my morning clients walks in and asks "Um, do you have an ex boyfriend you pissed off?" And I laughed a little, and asked, "Why?". He replies, "Well someone dropped off some stuff outside next to your car."
I walk outside, to find just that. While I am trying to fit these boxes into my car, the one at the base of the pile is excruciatingly heavy. Just then, my boss pulls up. Early again, who knows why. He sees me, even though I am leaning into my car hoping that I will blend in. He comes over, I explain the situation. He has to help me lift the final box into my car.
That is how my yesterday started. I did not write about it yesterday for fear that I may not have been this nice about it.
After explaining this, is much less detail, to a very good friend of mine, I close my story with "I need to get out of here."
He replies, "Out of work, or out of town?"
I say, "Both."
He then progresses to plan a road trip, invites me, and we are going to get the hell outta dodge this weekend. Turning off phones (at least I am), no Facebook, nothing. I just want to get away.
My best friend, one of two, is getting married Saturday, and then "We are hauling ass and not looking back, until Monday."
That is why I continue to count down, 7 hours and 54 minutes, until the weekend.
That is when my fun, and release begins.
That is when I can let go and just be free from dumb things of drama.
7 hours and 52 minutes until then.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
AD/OC D.
I need help,
mentally, physically, emotionally..
I really need help.
I want to do so many things but:
-my mind moves too fast for me to process them,
-my body can't keep up with my mind, and
-my heart surpasses both my mind and body, leaving it in the dust.
Which brings me to the conclusion that I will continue to travel in this vicious circle and that is why I posted this.
I need help.
I believe my situation could be best described as Attention Deficit/Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
mentally, physically, emotionally..
I really need help.
I want to do so many things but:
-my mind moves too fast for me to process them,
-my body can't keep up with my mind, and
-my heart surpasses both my mind and body, leaving it in the dust.
Which brings me to the conclusion that I will continue to travel in this vicious circle and that is why I posted this.
I need help.
I believe my situation could be best described as Attention Deficit/Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
My Slightly Shorter 101.
For those of you who are reading my friends wonderful blog, http://thenheathersaid.blogspot.com/, I shortened her 101 things to do in 1001 days, down to 25 things to do in a year.
25 in 365
1. Go 6 months without cutting my hair
2. Get a paycheck and put half in savings
3. Sing in a kareoke bar
4. Buy a stranger a cup of coffee
5. Go to an airport and hop on the first plane pulling out
6. Start writing a book
7. Go a week without wearing any makeup
8. Buy a one-way ticket somewhere
9. Go to The Vattican
10. Figure out what I want to do, career wise
11. Take a road trip
12. Have a birthday party with more than 10 in attendance
13. Stick to my list at the grocery store
14. Collect money for a charity
15. Go in Target, and spend nothing
16. Get one more tattoo
17. Play football
18. Write a letter
19. Buy an expensive bottle of wine
20. Go to an outdoor movie
21. Go camping
22. Attend a major league baseball game
23. Make cupcakes from scratch
24. Serve dinner at a soup kitchen
25. Keep myself from falling too hard for anyone
Anyone game?
25 in 365
1. Go 6 months without cutting my hair
2. Get a paycheck and put half in savings
3. Sing in a kareoke bar
4. Buy a stranger a cup of coffee
5. Go to an airport and hop on the first plane pulling out
6. Start writing a book
7. Go a week without wearing any makeup
8. Buy a one-way ticket somewhere
9. Go to The Vattican
10. Figure out what I want to do, career wise
11. Take a road trip
12. Have a birthday party with more than 10 in attendance
13. Stick to my list at the grocery store
14. Collect money for a charity
15. Go in Target, and spend nothing
16. Get one more tattoo
17. Play football
18. Write a letter
19. Buy an expensive bottle of wine
20. Go to an outdoor movie
21. Go camping
22. Attend a major league baseball game
23. Make cupcakes from scratch
24. Serve dinner at a soup kitchen
25. Keep myself from falling too hard for anyone
Anyone game?
Epiphany Strikes Again.
I woke up this morning and realized something. There is more to life than my exsistence, and as selfish as that sounds, think about it.
All of our lives revolve around ourselves because that is our comfort zone. Here lately I have been sidestepping the boundaries of the before said zone, and it is really scary.
----> About to open up, please pay attention.
After breaking off the wedding, I didn't know what I wanted because when I said yes to his proposal, the rest of my life had already been decided for me. I would wake up in the morning, go to work, come home from work only to make dinner for the two of us, do some wifely chores, and then sleep. Wake up the next morning, repeat.
For those of you who think I am a bad person for backing out on my word, I really am not. I made a spur of the moment answer when I was caught up in a life that I thought I wanted. But I didn't. It is not fair to him that I did this, and I regret every day making him feel as badly as I think he does. I have tried so hard to accept the wife role over the last four months, but there is something in me that wants more.
I want to get out of my comfort zone. I want to branch out and touch something extraordinary. I want to make something happen for myself, please myself, pick one of my crazy dreams and actually plan it out and follow through. Because, as together and strong as I may make myself out to be, I am really not. I pride myself on being together and a firm decision maker, but what most people don't see is that my decisions change as often as I change my underwear. No, wait...a little more often than that.
A friend of mine yesterday described me as a "free spirit". I had never thought of myself that way. She said, "You are the type of person who could hop on a plane and go somewhere, just because you want to. And hell, if it didn't work out, you would come back home and try again later."
She is right.
I want to hop on a plane. My life's dream, as far-fetched as it may be, is to be like Carrie in Sex and the City. Travel to New York, become a writer, become successful (which in turn allows me to buy mulitple pairs of shoes) and fall in love with my Mr. Big.
Until my epiphany this morning, I never really thought I had it in me to go anywhere for longer than a weekend, but I think if I want to I can. It is scary and crazy, but I can. And I will.
All of our lives revolve around ourselves because that is our comfort zone. Here lately I have been sidestepping the boundaries of the before said zone, and it is really scary.
----> About to open up, please pay attention.
After breaking off the wedding, I didn't know what I wanted because when I said yes to his proposal, the rest of my life had already been decided for me. I would wake up in the morning, go to work, come home from work only to make dinner for the two of us, do some wifely chores, and then sleep. Wake up the next morning, repeat.
For those of you who think I am a bad person for backing out on my word, I really am not. I made a spur of the moment answer when I was caught up in a life that I thought I wanted. But I didn't. It is not fair to him that I did this, and I regret every day making him feel as badly as I think he does. I have tried so hard to accept the wife role over the last four months, but there is something in me that wants more.
I want to get out of my comfort zone. I want to branch out and touch something extraordinary. I want to make something happen for myself, please myself, pick one of my crazy dreams and actually plan it out and follow through. Because, as together and strong as I may make myself out to be, I am really not. I pride myself on being together and a firm decision maker, but what most people don't see is that my decisions change as often as I change my underwear. No, wait...a little more often than that.
A friend of mine yesterday described me as a "free spirit". I had never thought of myself that way. She said, "You are the type of person who could hop on a plane and go somewhere, just because you want to. And hell, if it didn't work out, you would come back home and try again later."
She is right.
I want to hop on a plane. My life's dream, as far-fetched as it may be, is to be like Carrie in Sex and the City. Travel to New York, become a writer, become successful (which in turn allows me to buy mulitple pairs of shoes) and fall in love with my Mr. Big.
Until my epiphany this morning, I never really thought I had it in me to go anywhere for longer than a weekend, but I think if I want to I can. It is scary and crazy, but I can. And I will.
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