New Found Spontaneity.

This past weekend was full of adventure, excitement, and just plain fun.

That sentence [minus "This past weekend"] sounded a bit like the preface to a Disney movie, but whatever. I had a great weekend.

My weekend started off with a much needed girly date with one of my best friends and ended just how it should.

Me and my seasonal friend from a few months back had dinner. We gossiped a bit, because that's what girls do, and we enjoyed every minute of it.

After dinner we saw a movie, Leap Year. Absolutely, hands down, one of the best cutesy love stories I have seen in quite some time. Leap Year takes the Irish accent from P.S. I Love You and adds to it the edge-gripping, awe-feeling that The Notebook expresses through literature and the big screen. This could be why Leap Year will probably never surpass these two brilliant romances, but if those movies tie for first place, Leap Year is a very close second.

After the movie, we went to grab some hot chocolate at Starbucks. We could not have coffee since the little momma already maxed out her caffeine intake for the day. It was delicious, and hair free!

I dropped her off, and headed home. But by the time I got home, I had already decided to embark on a "grrrrand" adventure. [I'm quoting the Irishman in Leap Year, it's one of those "had to be there" things.] And while I am not comfortable disclosing all of the intimate details of the spontaneity that overtook who I usually am, I can tell you it was fun.

I went hiking for the first time in forever, even though I would be more inclined to call it trailing. Then, after having to leave to get back to my responsibilities of the adult world, I babysat twin boys. They are four year old handfuls. Beautiful boys and sneaky as ever. They gave me a run for my money, but once they fell asleep for the night, all of the running around was so so worth it.

I got home to a houseful of people excited that the Cowboys pulled out another win somehow. We are wanting them to go all the way to the Superbowl, but will it happen? Nobody knows.

Lazy Sunday came and went too fast if my opinion means anything, and since this is my blog I guess it means everything. So yes, it was way too fast.

However, no matter how much I plead for the weekend not to end, it's back to work for Monday. Long, hectic, crazy Monday. And while I work, I can't help but be distracted by so many other things that entertain my vivid imagination. For example, I am contemplating more tattoos. Tasteful as always. Most of you will think I am crazy for wanting more, seeing as I already have four, but hey...it's my body. And as long as I am happy about it, no one else's opinions really matter.

I don't assume any other examples are required at this time. Tattoos should be enough to hold my focus for a few days, hopefully.
Damn ADD.

I just love doing what I want to do, with nothing holding me back. No restrictions. Thinking and doing what I want, when I want to do it. Having the freedom to change my mind just because I feel like it. Taking off at the drop of a hat just to go somewhere. I guess my ADD is a blessing in disguise, if it even is ADD. I'm self diagnosed, so maybe I just use it as my excuse. Either way, what ever is making me tick and feel this alive, I don't want it to go away.

Living for me in 2010. It's a great feeling.

This Rhyme.

I'm not speeding up,
But I'm not slowing down.
I'm through building bridges
In this flat-landed town.

I wish to mentally stay here
Enjoying this moment in time.
Where all of my joys
Come from writing this rhyme.

The One with the Outline.

So much has happened in the last few days, my fingers can barely keep up. Today's post will consist of numerous bullets and numbers that break down things and make them more appealing to the eye.

I. School.

A. School has been a roller coaster for me for a few reasons.

--1. I have had a hard time deciding to go with my gut and just go after the major I have a passion for, regardless of what others say.
--2. Paying for school is not the easiest when you have no money, no credit, and no co signers.
--3. As if (1) and (2) weren't enough, I find it hard to get motivated to pursue things when the end result seems forever away. [My impatientence and ADD come into play a little here.]
--4. I am considering transferring, but I have yet to decide on where.

II. Being Healthy.

A. I can't just call it running anymore, because it has surpassed that point. Now, I do many things to keep in shape.

--1. I am eating better. Usually I have granola and yogurt for breakfast, a small healthy meal for lunch, and then post run I enjoy something full of yummy goodness.
--2. I am running. Not necessarily every day because the cold temperatures have reached lows that this part of Texas has not seen in my lifetime.
--3. My brother is my "personal trainer." He pushes me to work out with him. He does it every night anyway so I figured why not bond over something he enjoys? Plus, I will get to benefit in the end. It's a win-win situation.

III. Personal Life.

A. Things are actually beginning to pick up quite nicely in this department, and while I am not sure where it's going, or really what to say (because I know he reads this) I don't want to mess it up. So, for now, let's just say I am happy and I like being happy.

IV. UT v. Bama.

A. Yes, this gets it's own special Roman numeral because it is that big of a deal at my house. UT is huge deal to my sister and step-dad, and when you throw in an incredible SCC team like Alabama into the mix, well let's just say last night es no bueno en mi casa.

[These will be short]
--1. McCoy was hurt.
--2. They put in a true freshman, Gilbert, who was terrified and rightfully so.
--3. Ingram is a beast.
--4. The loss was devastating, but I am just happy McCoy will recover. Even if my sister doesn't.



And that is all, but I wish to depart on this one special note.

"It's 8 a.m. in the morning, and I'm walking towards the door.
Whether or not I've seen you here, I really can't be sure."

See What I See.

I don't do picture posts very often, but yesterday I had a semi-brilliant idea. I have made friends from all over, and most of them haven't been to my little nook of Texas. Or they haven't been back in a while. So, before I went for my run, I grabbed my camera and decided to do a makeshift documentary!

For those of you who wish to have a little more in depth view of my life, here is the first aspect I wish to share in detail for 2010: RUNNING.

It has become my passion, and even though it has been a love/hate relationship, running has become a huge part of my life. And sure, I am not that fast. I have to stop about every half or quarter mile, depending on the weather. I roll my ankles often because I run on the side of my road [which you will see in just a second]. But this year I am interested in doing things that liberate me. Things that throw me out of my cookie cutter five day workweek.

Be it running, thinking for myself, traveling, speaking what's on my mind, or just being spontaneous, I want to love my life. To me, loving something is just having the gumption to get out there and go for it. So I am going for it. I am running again.

Here are some things I see when I walk out of my house for my after work run:

[P.S.-Don't let me fool you, I only say "after work" because that is the time of day I run. I don't run in the mornings and don't intend to.]

The road [that was] less traveled.

Me getting ready to run with Mr. Buble' in the 28 degree weather.

Dedication? I think so.

My runner's legs covered in tights.

They need a little work.

I see the cemetery, which may be a little creepy, but it's so peaceful.

I thought this picture was beautiful,

because even in death there is life.

I wanted to get a picture to show that I have will power.

The smaller sign says "Bruno & George Winery."

The sun setting over the water tower and baseball park.

Though you can't see the ballpark, take my word that it's gorgeous at night.

Another sunset.

And me, ALL DONE!

In case you were wondering...

the run from my drive way to the very end of the street and back is roughly 1.9 miles.

A is for Apple.

My first customer of the day:

Customer: I need to change a car on my policy.

Me: Ok, sounds good, just give me one second to look it up.

[I look it up]

Me: Ok, found it. Which car will you be replacing?

Customer: The '99 suburban.

Me: Great. Do you have the year, make, model, and VIN for the new vehicle?

Customer: Yep.

Me: Ok, what's the year, make, and model?

Customer: An '08 PT Cruiser.

Me: [trying not to giggle at the ugly vehicle] Ok, what about the VIN?

Customer: Yep, right here.

[And since I can't tell you their VIN, here are just some examples of their letter/word usages]

Customer:
-N as in No [And as badly as I wanted to criticize them and ask which homonym they were referring to, I just let it go.]
-G as in Go [I began to thought she only knew two letter words.]
-S as in See [Over the phone, it sounds like "C"]
-V...[Just V, or at least I hope it was V. It could have been B, or D, or C, or P.]

Then she goes on rambling about her "brand new" car. I am usually empathetic, but goodness. If you could have only been on the phone with her, you would understand.

ADD Part 2.

So, I was supposed to begin writing constructively [i.e. for my book] at the start of the year. The problem is, I can't seem to find direction. I have all of these ideas that could go so many ways, and I have not a clue as to how to harness them into one AMAZING, movie worthy piece of literature.

Ok, maybe I'm getting a bit ahead of myself. Regardless, I still would love to take action and move forward with my book. I just can't pick one idea and move, because about an hour or more into writing, I change my mind.

Imagine that. Me, being indecisive?
This will shock people.

I usually find inspiration from events taking place in my life. And right now, my life is somewhat steady. And while it is much less stressful this way, it does not bode well for inspirations. My dramatic highs and lows tend to saddle me into a rodeo of bucking disagreements, and then I'm thrown into happiness, but not before I smack the ground face first, get stomped on, and have to be forcefully escorted out by makeup-faced clowns.

Speaking metaphorically of course.
Maybe I went a tad too far.

It's things like that I want to put in my book. Crazy phrases that keep people interested. Things that confuse and baffle people. I have been told my writing style is unique, and while I don't believe that's entirely true, I do like to think that I do have a certain pizazz in the way I situate my words. A sort of swagger, if you will. Not so much in a gangster way...but this is me getting off topic again.

How will I ever be able to write a book if I'm too ADD to type a blog entry?
In due time I guess, in due time.

First Post of the New Year.

A new year brings with it a new frame of mind.

This new frame of mind is accompanied by a new point of view.

My new point of view is showing me how to live.

I love it.

I never thought that I could be happy alone.
I always assumed that happiness wasn't within myself and that I was supposed to find someone to "complete me".

Thank you romantic movies of the 90's. You were my example of how love is supposed to be.

My being young, naive, what-have-you, caused me to think that completeness is brought on by someone else. Meaning that I was incomplete as long as I was just me. I didn't believe I was capable of happiness and recently I have found this is certainly not the case.

I have had a blast just being me. Granted, I was "single" from September until now, I just never felt free. I always felt like I had something tying be back to my ex fiance, or that I needed closure from an ex beau, or that I couldn't be friends with a guy without getting a little friendly. Well I had that last opportunity on New Year's day, and I turned it down. It felt amazing to say no proudly, and keep my head held high and my dignity in tact.

I love being around friends, especially some newly discovered old friends. There is no pressure of having to look a certain way or act a certain way. No stress about my personality, or appearance. Just peace. I love peace.

My two new anthems for 2010 are:
-Haven't Met You Yet by Michael Buble`
-Live Your Life by T.I. ft. Rihanna

And this is why:

M.B.--"Wherever you are, when ever it's right, you'll come out of nowhere and into my life. And I know that we could be so amazing, and baby your love is going to save me. And though I've been through every single possibility I know some day it will all turn out. You'll make me work, and I will work to work it out. And I promise you kid that I'll give so much more than I get...I just haven't met you yet. " ♥

T.I.--"Live your life."
[[Plain and simple.]]

<3.

Maybe it's supposed to hurt.
Maybe it's supposed to be terribly painful...
That way we wouldn't do it again.
But we do.
We can't help it.
Love should be a form of self mutilation.

New Year's Eve.

It has been four weekdays since my last post. That is the longest I have gone [except for when I had the flu] that I have not written anything.

Yesterday, I had it suggested to me that I should just make something up, because it would be interesting and it didn't matter anyway. I should just draw inspiration from surroundings and make-believe situations. So what if they aren't real?

Well I am sorry, and I think I just found a trigger for my next topic.
I will get to my New Year's resolutions shortly, but I would like to say something first.

I am a romantic.

I like to think I will be sought after one day. I want to dream that even though he and I aren't close, that he thinks about me. He may not even know it's me...just that he wants someone with my qualities, and when he finds me he will know he's found love.

Like most women, even though I don't show it, I think my prince is out there. He hasn't swept me off my feet just yet, but he will. And when he does, I will be the happiest girl in the world and we will live happily ever after.

Quite a change from my Love Cynic post, but hey a girl's views can change right?

I have high expectations for whomever is brave enough to attempt falling for me. I admit I am a bit of a handful. "But if you can't handle me at my worst, you sure don't deserve me at my best." --One of the quotes I live by.

Back to the head over heels, imaginary love thing. A few posts back I was left a comment by an anonymous person. And when going over comments I always imagine who the anonymous ones are. If it's about love, I imagine they are somewhere, earnestly reading my blogs, loving my writing style, and anticipating meeting me in real life.

I know that he doesn't dream about me. He is probably someone I already know that was just too lazy to set up a Google account. But the fact that I create this far-fetched idea almost makes me think I am crazy.

I just want that kind of love. The love that drives you mad and crazy. The love that makes your heart beat faster when you think about each other. Rachel said, "I believe that when I stop looking for true love it will find me. That's why I have stopped looking for Russel Crowe."--This is why I love Friends.

It is very true. Stop looking for something and you will find it. Unexpected surprises are the best apparently, I just can never be surprised because I am too busy trying to figure everything out.

Come to find out, my anonymous commenter was a guy, which only spurs on my fantasy. If you are reading this, I'm really not crazy. I am just using you as an example of how wide-spread my imagination wanders.

This is really sad. I know it is.

I have way way way too high of expectations of my love life. I rarely show them to anyone. I would rather not make them known, that way I am not let down. But today is special. Today it's okay to talk abou things you want that are unseen. Today is the last day of the past, and tonight will start a fresh new year. Today is my favorite day. I love it more than my birthday, or Christmas, or any other spectacular holiday.

Today is the start of fresh things.

[[Now, on the topic of that resolution:]]

I don't have the perfect body.
I don't have the perfect smile.
I don't have the perfect personality.
I don't have the perfect outlook on life.
Sometimes I am mean, or spiteful, and more often than not I am wrong.

So, with that being said, my New Year's resolution is this:

In the mist of all these things, it is my many imperfections that make me who I am today.
I have decided to embrace who and what I am for exactly what that is. This year I want to be me. Crazy, stubborn, impatient, loving, scattered me.

That is my New Year's resolution.

Stronger Than Before.

I'm stronger than I used to be
I've let go of the old parts of me
I decided it's way past time to get on with my life

I want to get back to the basics
And get rid of all the extra things
I need to drain myself of any un-necessity

Youthfulness may have it's perks
But I only know it's quirks
Here lately recapping the past has consumed me

Because, at the time, everything seemed a mess
And I thought I wouldn't be happy unless
I could just make it to the future

But now the past's future is the present
And I am still living for something different
Seeking a different time or a different place

And everything that once was
And everything happened because
I couldn't and wouldn't wait patiently

But everything has made me better, stronger
It has made me persevere longer
Than I ever thought I could

Thank you.