Sunday, December 27, 2009

Stronger Than Before.

I'm stronger than I used to be
I've let go of the old parts of me
I decided it's way past time to get on with my life

I want to get back to the basics
And get rid of all the extra things
I need to drain myself of any un-necessity

Youthfulness may have it's perks
But I only know it's quirks
Here lately recapping the past has consumed me

Because, at the time, everything seemed a mess
And I thought I wouldn't be happy unless
I could just make it to the future

But now the past's future is the present
And I am still living for something different
Seeking a different time or a different place

And everything that once was
And everything happened because
I couldn't and wouldn't wait patiently

But everything has made me better, stronger
It has made me persevere longer
Than I ever thought I could

Thank you.


Everything happens for a reason.

I can not emphasize this enough. And as much as I would like to give credit where credit is due, I am not exactly sure who the original quote belongs to. Whoever he/she is/was, it could not be more true.

Sometimes we may not like it. Sometimes we may hate it. We may loathe it, despise it, scoff about it, cry over it, be pissed about it, act like it doesn't matter, try to forget it, push it back in our minds, make ourselves believe we are over it, pretend like it didn't happen, but at the end of the day it did. No matter how sad/resentful/angry/whatever we are, it did.

There is absolutely NOTHING you can do to change the past. It doesn't matter how badly you want to. The forces that hold the past in the past don't give a damn. They don't care if you are sorry or want to go back and change things. They don't care if you have regrets you won't admit out loud. They don't even care if you find a temporary happiness in something or someone that won't last.

You can't fool the past. Speaking, of course, as if it is an actual living, breathing object. It is just easier that way.

"Forgive and forget, relive and regret."

Again, this goes without a credited author, but is still one of my favorite quotes of all time.

I have done things in my life that I am not very proud of. I have also done some things in my life that I wouldn't change for anything. And while I shouldn't want to change those bad things, because they molded the person I am (and who I want to be) today, I still can't help but to wonder what if I had reacted differently to the things I handled badly?

Would I be a better or worse person today for it?
Would he still be here?
Would I live somewhere else?
Would I be going to school and working at the same places?
Does fate mean that no matter what I have done, I would end up the same in the outcome of it all?

The fact that I will NEVER be able to answer those questions pecks at my sanity. That is, if I'm even sane...Who knows?

I am trying some home remedies to see if they help.
Hello dear Friends, let me introduce you to Malibu.